A few months ago I dreamt with rats biting my feet. After looking for the meaning at a dream's interpreter website I learned that it meant "feeling trap in a rat race". A month ago I turned 30 and felt accomplished and happy for a while (feeling it took a great deal of bravery getting to this age). But now, I started to get worried about deciding which steps should I follow in order to get to (blank) -this needs to get decided as well-. I've been reading the Financial Times each morning and I'm enjoying it more than I could have thought. The downside to it is that I now feel anxious about sky-rocketing oil prices and food crisis, adding to the anxiety generated from the lack of personal decisions. Am I being exaggerated? Probably. Things will happen regardless my worries; besides, not all is bad. Today we walked across Central Park and got to a chamber music concert at the band shell. The music was beautiful and the park was filled with fireflies. It was neat!
I'm in a very bad mood today. Aggressive and fighting with everyone about stupid things. My hormones are showing its worst face, and I have to deal with the shame of being so rude with anyone with a different opinion than mine. I'm going to keep reading my book before going to bed. To make it worst, my roommate brought home his boyfriend's dog today, and I already started seeing fleas jumping on my comforter.
My cousin Pepe arrived last night and he will start his official life in New York tomorrow. I don't know how much time it will take him to feel/become a New Yorker; it took me 3 years (and 6 years to buy a proper bed). How long it takes before you deserve to claim a city your own?
I'm tired of long distance relationships and having to be on the phone with nothing to say, just to feel a little bit closer. I get cranky about almost everything, and my boyfriend demands things that just makes it worst (like asking me to call the Financial Times at 12:34 AM on Sunday).
We spent the afternoon at Max and Lily's house a few blocks from my place. 4th of July with only two Americans to celebrate it, in a Greek neighborhood where no one else seemed to be having a party. We grilled hamburgers, eggplants and zucchini in the porch while we hoped for the rain to stay away a little longer. We tried to watch the fireworks from the park by the river, but we ended up walking in circles without seeing any.
Niloufer, Melissa and me sat at the Met's roof this afternoon while we all had a drink to cope with the hot weather. Niloufer talked about her religion (which name I cannot pronounce), how it started in Persia and how the followers were expelled from Iran to India. Good words, good thoughts and good deeds are the main principals they follow.
My desk from the corner of my eye
I'm sitting on my bed with the lights off and the AC on. My boyfriend is talking through Skype about how the economic crisis will hit Mexico soon, and how his sushi was 30% more expensive today than it was a week ago. I'm not tired, I wish I could use all this energy tomorrow morning and exercise. I spend too much time sitting down at my office and then after work I'm tired so I just go back home and turn the computer on. Victor finished talking. He is the perfect guy, he wakes up at 6 AM to do some jogging, then works like 12 hours, reads the newspaper and even irons his shirts.
So nice outside
I’ll be out soon, need to get back to work…
Estoy en San Francisco y hace ya un par de años que no venia. Llevo algun tiempo confundida, sin mucha idea de como retomar el camino, mi camino. Se que tampoco estoy tan perdida, simplemente me quede a la orilla de la carretera y tengo que volver a ella.
En un rato viene Pico e iremos a cenar, tomaremos el N-Judah hacia el Golden Gate Park y quizas Helena tambien nos acompaña. Tengo hambre.
My lost and recently found sister is still on the phone. I'm waiting for her on the MSN while Victor is listening to boring sports news, and WQXR is on the battery-powered radio. My grandmother says I shouldn't go back to Mexico; she is worried that I will go back to my mother's house to do nothing and hanging out with my friends, like a teenager.
At least I have a grandmother.
She already started seeing cockroaches and complaining about the cranberries under the sofa. I said goodbye to Capuchi today, he is going to Tijuana for the entire summer, leaving me behind with this sensation that I'm on my own. I got nostalgic for the old times when we spent hangover mornings at his house under his old-style “colchas”, with printed bears and lions.
The moon is big and I have a bottle of Rioja that I haven't opened yet.


